Another DUI Heartbreak

~ Shawna Rae

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UPDATE:

The woman referred to in the link below was just sentenced to fifteen years in prison.

In the same timeframe, there have been several other young people from our area charged with causing a death while under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

(names have been changed)

Day 75: Returning to the Scene of the Crime

 

 

Published by Shawna Rae

17 thoughts on “Another DUI Heartbreak”

  1. That story last June made me cry. I remember it well, remember I was on my first ever sober vacation with family. Not sure what kept me from commenting (maybe just busy) but whenever we went out that last week, after reading that post, I couldn’t help thinking of Julie as I drove around in the evenings, sober. One huge mistake and so many lives changed forever. Thank you for sharing the update. Yet another reinforcement of why I don’t need alcohol in my life. It would be too easy to become “Julie.”

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    1. Thank you so much, and that’s exactly why I blogged about it. I could so easily have been Julie as well. And if I don’t keep my sober act together, I could be her in the future.
      I’m going to reach out to her again. I sent an email saying that she could contact me at any time if she needed help, but I never heard from her. (This was after she had thanked me for the plant last year.) She looked much healthier at the sentencing photos than she did around the accident. I hope she’s in a better place emotionally. ; )

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  2. So VERY, VERY sad. I remember your story about her in great detail. It was heartbreaking then and now again. I hope her family is accepting of her and of the outcome and can only hope the sentence ends up being much shorter for her. It’s a tradgedy what alcohol can do to us when our intentions are only good. Alcohol is the culprit (yes, we do have a choice at first, but FUCK….we can lose that mental capacity to make good decisions SO FAST)!!! Hugs to you.

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    1. I think you hit the nail on the head: they try to hammer home the “don’t drink and drive” idea, and nobody sets out to drink and drive, but the person who makes the decision to drink and drive is NOT THE SAME PERSON who would never do such a thing. The brain has been hijacked. And with me, once I crossed the line, it was hard to see where the line was. If you’re at a party and everyone else is driving home, it somehow becomes the norm. How can we expect people who have lost the mental capacity to make good decisions to then make good decisions? You’ve inspired me to write an article about this. Thank you!!!!

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  3. I could have been this person, too.
    A good person who drank and drove.
    So many good people are making this mistake, and it’s one that can’t be fixed, except to drive stone cold sober.
    I really had hoped that Uber and Lyft were changing how people get around when they want to drink.
    But sadly, I don’t think it’s made a big difference.
    xo
    Wendy

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    1. I love how you put that: “A good person who drank and drove.” It’s so true! And I know this woman is a good person. You can see it in her Facebook posts. That’s what makes it so tragic. I do think Uber and Lyft are making a difference, at least with people my son’s age. He’s out with this friends as we speak, and I can’t help but be worried. I don’t have an answer. : (
      xoxo

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  4. 15 YEARS!!! Gosh that is REAL isn’t it? Poor lady, poor family and poor survivors family. There seems to be no light in this tunnel.
    As you know this story profoundly affected me when I first read it and this is will also further hammer home how serious a problem this is.

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    1. 15 years is a lot, considering that people sometimes get off with probation and counseling. Another young women (23 yrs old) just received a 15 year sentence as well for the same charge. I don’t know what the answer is, but I know years in prison isn’t it. It’s just so tragic.
      Thank you for your comments. xoxo!

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  5. This is such a heartbreaking story! Addiction should be a medical issue not a criminal one. I’m so sad for this poor woman. I wonder if the law was 0 alcohol while driving would that make a difference?

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    1. It is heartbreaking. I wondered about trying to start some kind of program where high schoolers and college students are given tokens as graduation gifts that are good for free taxi rides. It’s criminal that bars can encourage people to order shots and then send them out the door to drive home. It’s easier in big cities where there are a lot of mass transit options, but most cities don’t have a lot to offer besides taxis. Let me know if you have any ideas. xoxo!

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      1. Such a massive problem. Its going to change when the zeigeist switches around how alcohol is viewed as normal neccesary and harmless. Its starting to happen veeeerrry slowly. x

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      2. Thank you for teaching me how to use zeitgeist in a sentence. ; ) You are so right. Until we rethink the drink, it’s going to remain a problem. So we are doing our part just by not drinking, which makes other people question their own drinking. Cool!

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  7. Even with UBER and Lyft available, people are still getting into their cars and driving under the influence. I believe if someone receives a DUI they should be required to attend a full fledged DUI Treatment Program. I don’t think attending12 step meetings or paying fines is enough, I think there needs to be true rehabilitation. A minimum of 90 days in an outpatient treatment program would provide enough time to get the process started, with alcohol and drug testing. Because guess what, the ones who are getting 2, 3 DUI’s did not have enough consequences the first time to get help on their own accord. I have seen it happen to often and it is tragic all the lives lost due to alcoholism and driving under the influence.

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    1. Wouldn’t that be amazing? If people could get 90 days of treatment for a DUI? I think DUI number 2 should be a warning that something really needs to change. Most people are so caught up their own jobs and money issues and family problems that taking time/money for treatment is not an option.
      In Europe, they use drugs to greatly decrease dependency. What do you think of these? (See link.)
      http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2016/09/26/495491533/medications-can-help-people-stop-abusing-alcohol-but-many-dont-know

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