You Don’t Need to Explain Yourself

aztec-tribal-face-paint

How much time did I waste wondering how something I wanted to do would affect other people? Perfect example: For years I worried about inconveniencing friends because I had quit drinking. How would I explain it to them?

What a waste of time.

Today, my reading from the book A Year Without Fear addressed this perfectly:

Today, you do not need to explain yourself to others.

You do not have to explain your journey or courageous faith to others. If you were giving birth, you wouldn’t take time to make others feel comfortable and secure. You would be doing what your nature demands. You’d focus on the task at hand, the evolutionary impulse. You’d attend to your own needs. A new life will speak for itself.

— Tama Kieves,  A Year Without Fear

Who’s Driving Your Car?

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Cooped up in my house, my thoughts seem to be all over the map. I can’t divert myself with friends, wandering stores, or yoga classes. Dealing with my own thoughts has been the biggest challenge of my life. But it’s also the one thing that changed my life so profoundly.

Pam Grout described how she handles these thoughts in her blog here. For those who don’t know, she lost her only daughter, Taz, this year, but has continued on her amazing spiritual journey.

Insist that Love Drive the Clown Car

Here is a photo of Pam with her daughter.

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It’s Safe to Feel

Lewis Capaldi

At four years’ sober a week ago, I thought maybe my brain had healed enough to try to finally wean myself of an antidepressant I have taken for twenty years. I was down to a really low dose; even so, when I’d tried to taper off before, I couldn’t outlast the withdrawal.

The drug served me well at a time when I felt way too much. It was a buffer between me and the world I had created, much of it painful. One side effect was that I almost never cried, even in the most dire of circumstances.

But I missed crying at something beautiful, like while watching a good movie or listening to an amazing voice.

This morning, however, I happened across a video not shown in the U.S. for the song “Someone you loved.” A few minutes in and tears were streaming down my face. It felt so good, so cleansing. And it had been so long. This morning, there was a tiny thawing in my heart, held safe for me until the beginning of spring.

I used to be someone you loved.