5 thoughts on “Keeping Up Appearances and Drinking

  1. It really is a hidden problem/condition/illness (however you choose to label it), and I wonder if it has several reasons for being so, most interlinked:

    1. “Everyone else” manages – therefore if we have a problem we end up in a never ending cycle of trying to be like “everyone else” and struggle to control it even though it’s actually painfully clear that we can’t.
    2. Shame – again, goes back to how “many people” do drink in moderation so we feel like we’re bad somehow for not being able to be in control.
    3. You can sink VERY far before those big consequences hit. I was drinking nearly three bottles of wine per day and still had it mostly “together”.
    4. Perceptions around what an alcoholic or problem drinker is makes it harder to ask for help when you’re not at the end stages and have lost everything.
    5. Alcohol is – amazingly – socially acceptable and even encouraged so NOT drinking is still in this day and age the “less normal” stance to take. Luckily, I believe this is changing!

    I suspect for many of it is the sense of failure and shame we feel at not managing to do what the rest of the world seemingly does! If we were recovering from an illegal substance, say heroin, the rest of the world would stand with us and agree it’s an evil. Everyone knows and accepts heroin is bad, bad, bad. Booze? Not so much! With booze, the world will be a lot more hesitant and even if people do reach out their hands to help pull you out of the pit, they still have their glass of wine in the other a lot of the time.

    My two-pence! xx

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  2. It is so easy to blame someone else in a divorce, or even something else – like alcohol. I blamed my ex for drinking too much, only to find I had developed many of the same tendencies, just not to the same degree. Many days I feel like a hypocrite.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I did the same thing. I blamed other people for drinking too much but in truth I used them to “normalize” my own drinking. I was most definitely a hypocrite! Still am sometimes, but I hope I catch it more often than I used to.

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