Drinking: My First Blog Post

Finding a Sober Miracle

For all of the hundreds of new people exploring the sober universe as of January 1st, I am reposting my first blog. I barely recognize the woman who wrote this, but I have tremendous compassion for myself now.

On Passing Sober Day Three as a Ghost

23 thoughts on “Drinking: My First Blog Post

  1. I totally adore you. I love that you didn’t delete this and delighted that you got to this point. Very proud! Will reblog this once I’m on my computer (can’t from my phone) ❤❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love being in the mutual adoration society. I just regret that we can’t go out for coffee. I adore you as well, as I hope you know. 💕
      And your comment caused me to print out the whole memoir I wrote and give it another look. When I read, “I love that you didn’t delete this,” it really struck a nerve. Because in the guise of having really overcome this whole drinking thing, I realize I’ve been considering covering up my tracks. In other words, allowing shame to dictate my actions. Thank you for saving me from those shadow feelings. It’s exactly what I needed to hear, as so often is the case with your comments. We must have been good friends in some other life. ; )


      1. I thought I’d replied to your comment, but what I’d actually done was read it aloud to my daughter, because I loved it so much. And I’m SO glad that you wrote this…and EVERY thing that you’ve ever written actually. X

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Well, now you’ve made my day twice! I do that a lot … I read a comment and think about the answer but don’t have time to do it just then. In fact, the ones I really want to answer take the longest for some reason. A perverse logic I use in all my communications. (That didn’t even make sense to me, but I’m too lazy to delete.) 💕

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m with S_MW – I totally adore you too. Reading that post was like you were in my head – it’s exactly how I would describe my drinking days too with everything in a fog and forever being occupied with drink (suffering the last one, planning or drinking the next one), everything else being done badly or not at all. It’s so accurate and so true.

    And thank goodness you didn’t delete everything! You’re an inspiration to me and no doubt many others too and we need you here!

    Oh, and happy new year to you! Hope 2019 will be an amazing year! Well, it’s the first one I’ve started sober since I was in my teens…!


    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Anna! As I just wrote to Allane, your lovely comments have rewired my thinking completely. I’ve been reading over this memoir that it’s taken me a year to write, and deciding whether it has value to anyone. I’d already taken out my entire childhood (boring as hell) and was deciding what to keep of the rest. YOU HAVE SO INSPIRED ME. I thought I didn’t have much to offer because I can’t say here’s how you quit drinking: steps one through ten. But I think it’s enough to tell a story. I love other people’s stories, but draw the line at my own for some reason. Other people’s lives seem so much more interesting.

      And congrats on a sober New Year! It’s so much less depressing without a hangover, isn’t it? I look forward to catching up on your blog. 💕

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! It’s amazing how much my brain has cleared, and if I could just dump the sugar, I’d be home free.
      Are you still doing yoga? I’ve done one class so far in 2019 and can now barely move. I really want to keep it up though.


  3. “that feeling of going somewhere dark and cozy” I really liked how you described this and it perfectly fits a feeling that I have never been able to accurately put into words. You were a talented writer from the get go but I can definitely see a skill increase as the fog faded.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow, you’re right … I can totally see the fog affecting my brain in that post. I remember it took me hours or write. I had no power of concentration. Thank you SO MUCH for your kind words. They’re motivating me to continue on trying to get something published. 💕


  4. Wowzers. This is good stuff! Made even more relevant for me given that I read it on my day 3 yesterday. Now to continue trying to get one trotter out of the grave 😀Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Reblogged this on SPO_OKY and commented:
    I’ve been following this wonderful woman for a while now. Her strength of character and her honesty always inspired the hell out of me and I loved the way she wrote, but I must’ve joined her somewhere after this, her first first ever blog – and I’d never read this, ’til now. ❤ you, Shawna.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! 💕 I’m going to read this to my husband as a reason that I should publish this whole memoir, just because there’s someone out there who feels that being honest is more important than saving face. You have inspired me unbelievably. Love you too, Allane. 💕


      1. Oh…that’s really touched me. Honesty is important. When I had been clinically depressed for years and felt completely hopeless about the future, I didn’t want to read advice from people who’d learned about depression on a University course or from a book, as well meaning as that could be. Drs too, didn’t really ‘get’ where I was coming from either. The people who helped me were the real people, fellow depressives, the ones who wrote about desperation, black holes, crushing disappointment and how they’d gotten through it all.

        Hope and inspiration can come from many sources and what you have to say is hugely important. Please, please publish your story. I will be first in line to buy it, Shawna. X

        Liked by 1 person

      2. That made me laugh out loud. ; ) No worries … there is no line forming at the moment.
        I know exactly what you mean by only listening to people who have been through it. I went to a therapist once and she gave me well-meaning advice, but it was not the same as listening to other people who were struggling with addiction. And it’s their stories that I remember! All the advice in the world can go in one ear and out the other, but I remember people’s stories years after I’ve heard them. I think you’re on to something here … 💕💕💕

        Liked by 1 person

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