Conversation with a Friend

strong girls

I had a long conversation over dinner with a friend I hadn’t seen in years. I told her about my sobriety and spirituality, etc. Here’s what she said:

Her: I wouldn’t tell anyone about the drinking.

Me: I’m writing a book about it.

Her: Oh. Well, leave out the parts about the psychic, and also don’t mention … yada yada yada.

Me: That’s the focus of the book.

Her: Oh.

I smile. I’m starting to become faze-free. I am greatly encouraged by this conversation, however, because when she voices my old concerns, I feel none of the fear I used to. She’s trying to protect me. I get that. But I realize I have come miles and miles since the last time we spoke. She is talking to the old me. But I am someone else entirely. 💕

31 thoughts on “Conversation with a Friend

    1. Dissonance is the perfect word. It took me a year before I put up a profile picture here, but I don’t do any social media posts in my “real” name because I never post anyway. I think baby steps worked for me … you’ll know when the time is right. ; )

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  1. Well done for speaking out and being truly to yourself. I’m amazed though it doesn’t matter how many people you tell they all give you that “oh you’ve got a problem” look. If I said I’d given up smoking I’d get a pat on the back! I’m less agitated these days so I just ignore them.

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  2. Honesty! You gain that with sobriety along with humility. Yea we made some terrible decisions while drunk but that’s the catch… you are no longer drunk. Congrats on allowing her to meet the new you.

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    1. Just staple together your blog posts. That’s a short cut. By the way, I finally got to listen to your podcast on Unpickled. I loved it! You’re a natural at that kind of conversation. Skip the book and go directly to radio/tv/comedy. It was so heart-warming, yet funny. I felt like I actually knew you after the interview. And now I’m kind of famous by association. Damn it! Now I have sober interview envy!

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      1. Is that what you’re doing? I thought about it, but then I also thought I’d start from scratch and maybe sprinkle them in. BTW! You are famous, you got a mention in Sober Mummy’s book! So did I!
        Thank you! I seriously felt like I was babbling into someone’s voicemail box. I’m thinking about doing a podcast, actually.

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      2. DO IT! You would be great at that. Apparently they are a huge plus (especially if you are going to shop a book to publishers). I’m so distractible when it comes to writing, however, that I have to make myself continue, or it will take me years to finish. The first half of my book is almost blog-free, except that I lifted a few paragraphs here and there. The last half will be about that time in my life, so I can freely use the posts that are relevant. I reached out to Mrs. D and asked her if her publisher had any problem with using her blog posts and she said not at all. So really, you can write around them. Why reinvent the wheel?
        So I have only read (so far) the first little bit of Sober Mummy’s book. Will now read like a demon to find the mention of our blogs. How cool! I have the Kindle version because I am not in town long enough to have a hardback delivered. Is there some kind of appendix of bloggers?

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  3. Hi – I binge-read all of your posts and am now caught up! You have such great insight and have been an inspiration for me. From the beginning with your first tentative post now you have evolved to publishing a book!
    And thank you for supporting me and following my blog. : ) retiredfromdrinking.com
    Best, George

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    1. Thank you, George — that is so kind of you! You really got me thinking about how much I’ve changed over the last couple of years. You can’t see the progress when you’re in the middle of it, but it’s so obvious when reading those early posts. I was tentative because I was afraid to get my hopes up. I’d made literally hundreds of attempts, though some were half-hearted. You seem to have the strength of character to succeed right off!

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    2. Darn! Still can’t comment on your post, George. I just read your Elkhart Tolle post and really like it. I am able to write a comment in the Reader section on my page but then it disappeared instead of going to your page. Maybe WordPress can fix it. ; )

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  4. ‘That’s the focus of the book.” {crickets chirping} I just imagined how it would have been for you! “Oh.”
    I am a ways behind you in that scenario but I can imagine it playing out in a similar vein. I am not looking to author my own tome since I don’t want to revisit some of the yada yada stuff.

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    1. I’m leaving out any yada yada I don’t want to include. Some people feel like they want to tell the very worst or it’s not an honest memoir. I don’t feel that way at all. Some parts of the story are not mine to tell … and also, I’ve done so much work around forgiveness that I don’t want to “implicate” anyone other than myself. ; )
      It was a really freeing conversation however. I’m so glad I’m no longer that struggling person but I feel such compassion for her. ❤

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  5. Oh myyyyy……I just laughed out loud, following along that conversation! You own it…all of it…and that’s amazingly awesome! It reminds me of a darker story…of how my brother tried to get me to stop talking about my story a few weeks ago. He was referring to me talking to friends and said “Just stop putting it in writing, because it gets back to our parents”. He tried to get me to promise to stop doing that, and all I could think of was “If he’s upset about my email to someone about our family, just wait until he reads the book!” Ha ha!

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