Myth of the High-Bottom Drinker

poor-little-rich-girl

A friend recently said to me, “At least you’re a high-bottom alcoholic, if you have to be one.” I couldn’t really agree with her about being a high-bottom anything. It kind of depends on where you might have ended up had you not begun drinking at all. In other words, you don’t have to be homeless to have been hit pretty damn hard by the “grapes of wrath.”

I am reposting this blog (written at a blessed 10 days sober!) because I think we sometimes use the term “high bottom” to show that we weren’t really all that bad, were we?

Day 10 at a Fork in the Road

21 thoughts on “Myth of the High-Bottom Drinker

  1. High bottom is not a term that has been used to side step responsibility for actions in the groups I have been in. It is a term we use to indicate that the alcoholic got off the ride before everything was ruined. We also recognize that if things were to continue, we would all be low bottom.

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    1. Thank you, Lamar. Well, there is definitely truth in the fact that I could have gone lower. I am happy to be off the ride. Everything was not ruined, thank God. By the way, I LOVE the way your blog looks. ๐Ÿ’•

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      1. I love the name: “Lamar Washington can’t decide on a name for this blog.” Also, I liked the About statement. I immediately followed so that I can go back and read once I get off work. ๐Ÿ’•

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    1. Thank you, Feeling! I am definitely still there myself (at 54!). On the good side, we get be young again, as in middle-schoolers. Ha!
      Dealing with people in my head is what I’m worst at. I tend to argue arguments from ten years ago. I am concentrating on being grateful (mentally) while letting go of the voice that has an issue with everybody and all circumstances. The mental recovery work is the most difficult. ๐Ÿ’•

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      1. Yeah, I experience that too; mental recovery is most difficult. I actually helped myself with dealing with people in my head by using a Bach remedy. Bach remedies are kind of homeopathic but it is alcohol based. That is a bummer. For me it fits in the category of medicine so I don’t mind. 1 Drop on half a liter of water or so. It does not trigger me. But for some it does.
        I have most problems with shutting up. Knowing when not to react. That button still does not work. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ Aah, maybe I can find some relieve there with a Bach remedy too. Hmmm. Let’s see. ๐Ÿ™‚
        xx, Feeling

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      2. I had to google Bach remedies. Pretty cool! Essential oils are all the rage here in North Carolina. There are some really healing elements to using them, apparently.
        I too have the inability to shut up, and also the gift of meddling. I am getting much better, however. The good thing is that there was no way I could even work on these flaws while drinking. Every reaction I had seemed totally justified to me, and everyone else was ‘wrong.’ At least now I can see patterns and work to fix them.
        Hang in there, Feeling! ๐Ÿ’•

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      3. The gift of meddling. ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ Whoah! Guilty.
        It is very much needed in my work and it is exactly what makes me good at what I do but shit, the boundaries. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ And yes to the being sober enables us to work on stuff. Not there yet though. But I am guessing nature will take its course: when I don’t set the boundaries, the world will do it for me. I am thinking it is just like drinking too much; at a certain point it will ‘get back right at ya’. Painfull, but natural. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
        Essential oils, yay! The are very nice too. I never really got into discovering them but I very much assume they can do good things too.
        xx, Feeling

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  2. Those left turns…
    Mine had become very short and circular.
    I expect I could have gone on that way longer, but my kids were 8 and 10 and I realized that the guilt and remorse of being a parent who drinks too much was crushing me.
    I will forever be thankful I turned right that day in 2013 and work hard to stay on that path!
    Anne

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    1. I hear ya. I used to wonder why people made such a big deal about being grateful for the day they quit drinking … wasn’t that the end of the fun? But I am totally with you now … I am FOREVER GRATEFUL for no longer making left turns. ๐Ÿ’•

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      1. Absolutely! Thanks for thinking of me! I just realized I left the above comment on the wrong post! I also thought this post of “The Myth” was good food for thought. “I coulda’ been a contender….” don’t remember what movie that was but that line comes to mind. Who would we have become if not for the drink? We now have a chance to find out! All things are possible with God.

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      2. You just named 1) one of the recurring thoughts I’ve had throughout my life: “I could have been a contender!” and 2) the quote on the cover of my journal.
        Obviously, we have a lot of connecting to do, and a future as well. โค๏ธ
        (I googled the quote. It’s from “On the Waterfront,” featuring a very young Marlon Brando. Who knew?)
        Back to work. (Sigh.)

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  3. Thank you for reposting!
    I used to think a high bottom meant I was “better” than other drinkers, but now I know that there is no “good, bad, or worse”, when it comes to drinking, just a continuum, or as they say, a “yet”.
    xo
    Wendy

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  4. I got of the ride before it got way worse, but still feel like quitting drinking was the most necessary thing I had to do to get myself back to me. Had many close calls, grateful that it was a “high bottom” if that’s what it’s called.

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  5. My skid row was between my ears. From the outside looking in, it’s easy to judge someone as not alcoholic enough. From the inside looking out, it’s easy to tell others that they wouldn’t understand. I drank more than my share, wreaked havoc on my family, friends and pets, lied, cheated and stole to support my drinking. I was a late stage, chronic alcoholic (if a label is needed), but most I told thought that I was just an angry drunk. I found out it doesn’t matter. Alcoholism is a an equal opportunity distroyer. It doesn’t care. I either am one or not. No other qualification is required. It’s been almost 29 years since my last drink. I have seen to many people die trying to figure out if they were alcoholic. When I go to a funeral, I never think, “Well, at least he was a high-bottom drunk.”

    Peace!

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    1. Wow, you are so right, Bryan. I am totally in awe of your 29 years of sobriety. You rock! And I like how you included pets in your list — my poor dogs had to live through half-assed care as well.
      And I couldn’t agree with you more — whether I was alcoholic or not doesn’t matter at all. The damage was being done regardless. And there are lots of fatal accidents involving kids that drank too much and were not alcoholics — it can do wicked damage to anyone, even a first time drinker.
      I would love to hear some of your stories. Are you going to start a blog? I think the world needs your support! ๐Ÿ’•

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